Tw: cishet sex, men, rough, boundaries
I just got back “home” (or whatever I have right now of it) from an online date. With a straight guy.
We had sexted before so we knew some about what each other was expecting, but it’s one thing to sext about being used and it’s another to not be sure where the line is in real life.
I wouldn’t have done this if I was doing okay emotionally. Sex with cis dudes is part self-flagellation. I won’t deny I was turned on, of course I was, but I was also at times in pain, and I didn’t come. And it was all fine until the last few seconds, when I told him to go more gently but he was so close he pushed on. I know what that was, that shit doesn’t get past me no matter how much we smoked before.
I knew that if I told a guy I wanted it a little rough, he would be rough with me; but in the fantasy he’s also gentle when he needs to be, he’s also focused on me. But he did less foreplay and more “warming me up”… maybe women are just way better at sex than men are, and the last 5 years has upped my standards of “doing it right”.
Sex with cis men is so different. I’m sure some decent ones are out there, but I found what I was looking for: a way to get off as self punishment, which I haven’t quite yet learned to evolve into something pleasurable. I haven’t quite learned how to play with boundaries without getting them crossed.
Cool. Got that out of my system.