Never Gone

Remember the backstreet boys’ comeback album? It was meh. But maybe this reboot will be alright: after taking a few months off, QtN is back on!

I got a few things these past months that I have been missing. It’s been quite a journey. But now I feel I miss this blog/journal hybrid space, and as we approach the new year, I’m hoping to keep growing and learning and sharing that journey on here.

Some things I’ve learned:

  1. Feeding oneself gets easier. It’s tempting to eat out all the time since I live close to so many restaurants… ah Manhattan living. But it adds up, and isn’t healthy, so my girlfriend and I have taken to making food. Sometimes we lean on premade ingredients (like tikka masala sauce we can add to tofu and vegetables) and sometimes making basic stuff from scratch. Neither of us is a cook. But we learned to cook chicken breast, and one day I even made egg noodles from scratch!
  2. I’ve started doing regular meditation, at least a few times a week. I hope to get up to every day eventually. Regular meditation saved me from needing to go on antidepressants for an acute and short-lived depressive episode.
  3. I’ve discovered inner strength I didn’t know I had. Going with my gut has yielded so many benefits, it amazes me how often I ignored it before. I tend to shut down when my gut tells me something that goes against what other people want me to do, and I wind up meek and seeking approval at every turn. I have the ability to stop doing that, and I will.
  4. Lastly, with regards to gender and sexuality, I’ve started letting that just become part of my long journey, and to relax into the fluidity. It’s no longer a dominant part of my life, though I’m still perpetually puzzled about the complexity of these realms.

Happy holidays!